Thursday, February 23, 2012

SOMEWHERE IN TIME

Did you ever experience something more than deja vu that really makes you feel like time travel is possible? Like "I know I've read this before" or maybe "I know I've read this before" or even "I feel like I've read this before"? But then more than just deja vu. You know you have read it before and then it hits you - there's proof that you have indeed read it before.

Friday, May 09, 2008

DURING THE SURGERY... THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT.

"I'll give you the option since the doctor is running about an hour and fifteen minutes late." Nurse Kelly said as she leaned over the bed railing. "I can give you this now. It will only last about half an hour but we can give you some more later before the operation. You won't remember anything, so you can't think anything bad, because you'll end up saying it..."

"Sounds like you'd be doing this for your own entertainment. Isn't there anything less embarrassing you can give me?" I asked.

"This is just a conscious sedative, it won't make you drowzy, but it will help to pass the time." she answered. The anaesthesiologist made her way over and waited for my response.

"As long as you don't feel I'm being irresponsible, let's do it." They seemed relieved of my decision. They gave me the sedative and as we talked for a few minutes more, I noticed my words slurring together probably just after I stopped making any sense. I tried not to talk much at all as I could imagine myself saying such nonsensical things like "Man, I'd love to fart on those tits!".

Some time went by, and although I wasn't asleep, I didn't remember much of anything while I sat there in bed. I could see nurse Kelly in the distance talking on the phone. I could hear a voice over the intercom. Eventually she looked at the clock on the wall, and walked over to me with another shot of the magical time-travel serum. "They're calling for you." She said. "He's made up some time on that last procedure, so we've got about another 15 minutes to go. They're prepping the room right now. Do you remember anything from the last 40 minutes?"

"The Dr. came by." Again I tried to keep my speech brief as I felt my head bobbing around like a drunken hobo. I pointed to my right side where he would have been standing.

"Dr. Grant hasn't come by here... He walked by just now." She said as I could feel the newer , colder fluid making its way through my arm. "Is that what you mean? You saw him walk by?"

I tried to come up with some way of making it seem like I wasn't so out of it that I would have imagined a conversation with Dr. Grant. She looked down and said, "Oh, he has been by here to mark your ear."

"Yeah..." my head bobbed around again fishing for more to say.

"Don't worry, you didn't say anything." She assured me. "I know I said some embarrassing things when I had to come through here once." As she began to go into detail, I began to slip back to the future - when I would come out, nobody could know...

I remember waking up after surgery to an itchy sensation from my left ear. Before opening my eyes, I reached up to scratch it. Realizing there was something in my way, I tried to open my eyes. I could only open my right eye. Still very much drugged, my mind went back to the warnings of complications Dr. Grant went over with me months before "...and there is the possibility that I could sever this nerve here and you'd lose movement of the left side of your face..."

Too drowsy to react panicky, with one eye, I managed to make out a few nurses working around me. One of the nurses, a red head, smiled at me and said nothing, but even in my semi-coherent state, I could sense that she had something she wanted to tell me.

She worked her way over to the other side of me while the other nurses kept working around us. She came up to my right ear and very carefully said "During the surgery... there was an accident." I can't exactly say what the expression on my face was at that moment, because I no longer had control of it.

And it wasn't until later when she was walking down the hallway with me that I told her that she really scared me for a second because the left side of my face was still numb and the Dr. told me there could be complications... She laughed and told me that I had this horrified look on my face that worked its way into a great big smile when I realized what she had said was "During the surgery... You had an accident."

INSERT CAPTION:

There is a prize, depending on how good the entries are.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A FUNNY WORD I JUST LEARNED AT WORK WHILE ON THE INTERNET

Kuro - The name of a rear projection HDTV by Pioneer.

Kuro - Japanese word meaning deep, black, and penetrating.

Friday, March 23, 2007

REMEMBER THIS WEEK WELL...

...For it shall be just like every other.

The most stressful thing that happened at work this week – phone calls from the ex-wife (So not so bad.)

The most troubling thing that happened at work this week – How they let someone go that we don't even care about at work.

The most amazing thing that happened at work this week – It seemed to end more quickly than most.

The most hilarious thing that happened at work this week – "Uhhhhmmm... Yeah."

The most obnoxious thing that happened at work this week – Someone playing reggae music for 2 hours.

Friday, February 23, 2007

TRU STORY

About a year ago my friend JJ and I went to this ________ in ______. I can't speak for him, but I sure had one of the best ________ ever . We got to ____ many great ______. And I even ______ with some ______ as well. I even got a job doing ______ for one online.

During the mornings ______ would ______ in the Queen ______ for about 9 ______. It was the first time I ever crossed a ______ in my _________. I know It wouldn't a big deal to to most, but it was a great big deal ______ me. Overall the ______ was ______. I would ______ do it ______. I got a bit of ______ from fellow employees once we got ______, but now I can say I have stayed a weekend in a hotel with a homosexual.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

HEY MAN!

Have you ever burped with your mouth closed in the middle of talking and no body says anything, so you think man that was really loud in my head, but I guess they couldn't hear it because they didn't say anything to you.

Just because no one says anything, doesn't mean no one noticed.