Serious Bullshit!

WHERE THE HELL DID IGOR COME FROM?

Before I forget, movies without music suck. Sure silent movies were first, but even many of them were accompanied by music. In 1931 "Frankenstein" was created without any music whatsoever. LAME. If you're anything like me you're just weireded out by a guy moaning about without any music playing in the background.

I recently watched "Frankenstein" and minutes later "Bride of Frankenstein". Bride was a bit better because it had music in it. I'm assuming anyone reading this does realize that the Monster is never referred to as Frankenstein and Boris Karloff(Narrorator - The Grinch Who Stole Christmas) is actually credited as THE MONSTER. And there is no one credited in the movie as Igor at all. This cracker's name was Fritz.

My son loves watching scarey old black and white horror movies. My guess is because they're not scarey. So it seems harmless on Halloween night to show him an old 1930's horror film over say "The Ring", right? Wrong...

"Fire: good." proclaims a blind fellow. Pointing to the fireplace in an attempt to extinguish the fear of fire the monster has.

"Smoke: good." as he shows the Monster how to smoke. And at the first puff the Monster enjoys it.

"Blind men don't know anything, Gabriel." I explain to my son who is now running around the apartment saying "Fire good. Smoke good."

"Woman... Friend... Wife..." The Monster totally throws me for a loop her. "Why don't you have a wife, daddy?" to which I respond "Shhhhh!"

And then the Bride shows up and screams at the first sight of the Monster. My son turns to me and says, "But they were made for each other, daddy." I can't even go into the complexities of how women are evil to my seven-year-old, so I just remark "Oh, she's a witch, Gabriel, kinda like your mo...ther's halloween costume 8 years ago."

I don't even know how to tell him who the bad guy was in the movie. I'm pretty sure it was me. The Monster was heroic, even though he accidently killed all of those innocent people too. Dr. Frankenstein kept almost dying and was for a good part of the movie a mad man, but the Monster saw he deserved to live.

"I love dead... hate living." I whisper to myself as I clean up the living room. So now I'm feeling like the monster in a world that just can't understand that deep down inside I had all the right intentions. I think next we'll watch Star Wars. Darth Vader...now there's a sinister guy with no redemable qualities.

posted by John Q. Pubic @ 11:33 AM