WHEN I GET MARRIED IT'S GOING TO LAST FOREVER!
I was exchanging correspondence with a friend about how I recently found out I've been paying too much child-support. I mentioned how the CSEA will keep the money I overpaid until I am done making all of the payments necessary when my son turns 18.His Response
"Are they really making you wait 12 years to get money you were mistakenly overpaying? Did they not give all the money to [your son's] mom? Were they keeping it separate? I don't get it."
My Response
Think of marriage as a constant/temporary game of indian-wrestling where you're holding on to the other person but you never want to lose your own footing. Now if you do loose your footing you lose the marriage. While you're trying to regain your step, the winner puts on a strap-on and is allowed to drill you in any hole they desire, or even make a new hole should they so choose.
Since the divorce she has gained the world's greatest baby-sitter, where I pay her to watch her child while I don't get to eat anything out of her fridge or watch movies on her cable. Also I have to live in a crappy little apartment with my mom that is within reasonable driving distance of wherever she decides to live with the man for whom she left me.
Now paying child-support is like a secured credit card, where I have to put the money into the account first or I can't use it. Now forget about me using it at all. Only she can use it and for anything she wants, no questions asked.
It is as if I have an 18-year lease on a new child. Ultimately, I have a set amount I have to pay on that child, but it could go up depending on how big of a bitch she is.
Another view is that I am the state of Rhode Island(The only state to ever file for bankruptcy), and she won the Rhode Island Lottery payable in 216 monthly payments simply for being an adulterous wench. Can't win if you don't play!!!
posted by John Q. Pubic @ 1:57 PM
2 Comments:
Sounds like a real see you next Tuesday.
What about getting your son's birth certificate changed? I'm sure there's someone out there willing to do it for a little dough.
Then you can be like, "Oh, I mistakenly paid you too much? Huh, well, I was mistaken about our son's age too. He's 18 now. Gee whiz, where's my head lately?"
Man, remind me never to get married or have children.
You'd make a really good high-school guidance counselor.
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